Journaling is a way to process the complexities of caregiving, the turbulent emotions, the fear, and the confusion. Processing leads to a better understanding of what is going on behind the scenes. This insight can lead to a brighter outlook. Journaling thoughts and exploring them with curiosity and objectivity can be therapeutic. Our journal becomes a record of our experience, a travel journal that documents the caregiving journey. A beautiful, real, and raw reflection of the growth and how far we’ve traveled.
Journaling is empowering. Writing is one way to lean into the overwhelm of caregiving. We can write about wounds, and writing becomes a part of the healing practice. Self-reflection through caregiving provides us with clarity that can lead to self-compassion, growth, and healing. You can also use your journal to collect motivational mantras. You might write positive self-talk statements to recognize and reinforce your achievements and accomplishments.
Journaling also provides a way to capture the fun and funny moments. However, when it feels like you are in the rapids without a paddle, there may be little humor to document. As you begin to navigate the experience, you will likely find many opportunities to laugh. When we are not fearful of drowning, we can take ourselves and our situation less seriously. The opportunity to look back on the funny moments will be a future gift that you will receive from yourself.
Journaling Benefits
Helps us heal
Caregiving causes trauma. The constant worry keeps us in fight or flight mode, where we rarely relax and feel safe. When we can work through our feelings, fear, and frustration, we have an opportunity to heal past hurts and create space for compassion.
Process emotions
When you lean into the overwhelm of caregiving, face the scary feelings, and force them to take off their mask, the fear behind the thought is revealed. It is less scary. The practice helps us clarify our feelings and understand our motives. When we can see what it is we are dealing with, and we can decide the best way to manage our thoughts and resulting feelings and emotions. We might journal about a regret or a worry. We could examine our triggers and identify coping skills. Processing our emotions also includes exploring the fears that are fueling so many of our uncomfortable emotions.
Externalize thoughts
Journaling helps us externalize the thoughts that are on loop in our minds. If we are ruminating, writing down past resentments or future worries can move them from our mind to paper and can help us set them aside.
Problem Solving
In addition to processing our thoughts and emotions, journaling helps us with problem-solving and working through disagreements with others. We can identify which of our emotional needs were not met. We can set or adjust boundaries.
Organize thoughts
Another benefit of journaling is that it helps us organize our thoughts. When the caregiving work feels overwhelming due to the number of tasks, you might find it helpful before going to bed to list the top three items to complete the next day. When the priorities are on paper, they often stop bouncing around in our heads. The next evening, the task may be checked as complete or added to the next day’s list with no judgment. This mini record of completed tasks will provide a great sense of accomplishment as you look back at all that you were able to do each day under demanding conditions.
You might make notes each morning describing how well you slept, and each evening, journal a few words about how you felt overall about the day’s events. Often, we react disproportionally to the severity of the incident when we are tired or when we experience one challenge after another until we reach our limit. Then, we beat ourselves up for overreacting. When you journal the encounter, you may see more clearly the connection between how you felt during a stressful event or interaction and a lack of sleep or other missed opportunity for self-care that may have changed the outcome.
Collect data points
Over time, this self-reflection, along with mindfulness and awareness, will help you recognize in real-time that you are becoming physically tense, or your thinking is less clear. You will begin to pause and take proactive steps to reset and relax or re-energize before your reaction catches you off guard. You can use your journal to track the effectiveness of solutions. Trial and error is such a large part of any caregiving experience, and it can be helpful to keep a record of what worked and what didn’t. We learn more from failures than we do from successes, and it can be validating to know that you learned a lot over the months and years of caring for your family member.
Another reason to record results is that what didn’t work one month may work the next month as the situation and needs change. Documenting the results will prevent you from relying on memory, which stress makes even more ambiguous.
Self-care
Journaling is self-care. Writing offers a release and reprieve from the swirling sensations. It provides the opportunity to be creative and enter a flow state. Writing is calming, and clarity is empowering.
Mental health benefits
Writing about our uncomfortable thoughts and emotions has been proven to reduce mental anxiety and depression. Regularly writing about our struggles helps us become more resilient.
Gratitude
Like humor, gratitude may feel elusive when you are overwhelmed and simply trying to survive each day. You might start small, and each evening, list one or two reasons for gratitude that are connected to caregiving. You could use your journal to explore how obstacles lead to gratitude. As you begin to perceive more and more opportunities to feel grateful, your list will grow. Once you see gratitude, it can’t be unseen, and the vision can be transformative.
From Anger to Grace
Motivations for journaling may differ. Journaling thoughts and exploring them with curiosity and objectivity can be therapeutic. Self-reflection through caregiving can be healing as it provides raw self-awareness. B. Lynn Goodwin shares that while caring for her mom, she used her journal as a place to put her anger. Support groups did not work for her, but journaling did. She began coaching family caregivers in the journaling process and saw many of them start from a place of anger or frustration and move to a place of grace through their writing. In her words, she “wanted others to have a safe place where they could dump the outrage, where they could write and know it’s not true as they’re writing it.”
How to get started
It’s a process
First, write everything that comes to mind. Get it all out. Include all of the ugly details. Then, write specific grievances. Leave out the blame, focus on yourself and the impact that the conflict has had on you. Next, write about how these acts or words make you feel. Again be specific. Now you are ready to set boundaries around your limits. Your power is in these limits. You might journal your intention and how the boundary-setting conversation will unfold.
We can take the heaviness from our hearts and mind and transfer it to our journal. We may feel shame about the emotions that surface, and a journal is a safe place to store them, and we may not want to read the journals from this time in our life. You may decide to read your journals and look back with self-compassion. The clarity that comes from distance may help you better understand the challenges and the strong emotions that resulted.
Caregiving changes us. We grow stronger. At times, we feel like we will break, but we don’t. We may not see our growth as it is happening, but we develop skills and superpowers. We learn resilience and become wiser. A record of this transformation will be a powerful reminder of our strength. Journaling is one way to lean into the overwhelm of caregiving and of life.
Journaling prompts
Remember that journaling is a personal practice, and there are no right or wrong answers. It’s about exploring your thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a safe and non-judgmental space. You can use these prompts as a starting point and adapt them to best suit your needs and reflections as a caregiver. Journaling can be a valuable tool to process emotions, reflect on your experiences, and find a sense of clarity. Here are some journaling prompts that may help you get started:
Daily Emotion Check-In:
How am I feeling today?
What emotions have come up throughout the day, and how have they affected my caregiving experience?
Self-Care Reflection:
How did I take care of myself today?
What self-care activities did I engage in, and how did they impact my well-being?
Personal Strengths:
What strengths and qualities have I discovered within myself through caregiving?
How have these strengths helped me overcome challenges?
Setting Boundaries:
Did I set clear boundaries for myself today?
How did these boundaries impact my overall well-being and caregiving experience?
Lessons Learned:
What valuable lessons did I learn from today’s caregiving experiences?
How can I apply these lessons moving forward?
Moments of Joy:
Reflect on a moment of joy or happiness you experienced today.
What brought about this joyful moment, and how did it impact your overall mood?
Release of Emotions:
Were there any moments when I felt overwhelmed or emotional today?
How did I manage and release these emotions?
Challenges and Triumphs:
What were the biggest challenges I faced as a caregiver today?
What were my successes or moments of triumph?
Gratitude Journaling:
What are three things I’m grateful for in my caregiving role?
How did these aspects bring positivity to my day?
Communication and Relationships:
How did I communicate with my loved one or care recipient today?
Were there any positive or challenging interactions, and how did I navigate them?
Coping Strategies:
How did I communicate with my loved one or care recipient today?
What coping strategies or techniques did I use to manage stress today? Did any strategies work particularly well, and are there others I’d like to try?
Future Goals:
What are my short-term and long-term goals as a caregiver?
How can I take steps toward achieving these goals?
Communication with Others:
Did I share my caregiving experiences or emotions with someone else today?
How did this conversation make me feel, and did it provide any insights or support?
Support Network:
Who are the people in my support network, and how did they contribute to my caregiving journey today?
Self-Reflection
Take some time to reflect on your overall caregiving journey. What have you learned about yourself, your relationships, and your ability to navigate challenges?
Get Started
Reflect
If you were to keep a journal of your caregiving journey, what would it look like? Would it include anecdotes, an exploration of the emotions, or poetry? Would it be handwritten, typed, kept on an app, photos, or video?
Journal
The negative emotions are normal and natural, and very painful. Begin to identify and explore the negative emotions that come to the surface throughout the day. Write about a challenging episode and describe how you felt before, during, and after the interaction. Reflection may provide a different perspective or helpful insight.
Practice
Choose a journal and begin to record your caregiving journey.
In summary, journaling offers a tool for self-care, emotional support, and personal growth. It can help us navigate the complexities of our role while maintaining our own well-being. By putting thoughts and emotions onto paper, we can gain clarity, find relief, and develop a deeper understanding of our caregiving journey.
For more information on journaling to process the caregiving experience, check out Navigating the Caregiver River: A Journey to Sustainable Caregiving and the Self-Caregiving Strategies Podcast. In-person and virtual Caregiving Presentations & Workshops empower caregivers to navigate the caregiving experience!
Schedule Theresa Wilbanks to speak on caregiving and empower the caregivers in your workplace or community with the 12 Sustainable Caregiving Strategies.
Advice offered is for general information only; please contact your healthcare team, legal or financial advisors to guide your particular situation.