Many are now living life similar in many ways to that of the isolated family caregiver. One challenge is to modify self-care to be isolation friendly. When we accept rather than resist our new “Stay at Home” reality, we will be able to identify the positive self-care activities that will reduce stress. We will be changed by this experience. Begin with the end in mind and imagine life post-isolation. What steps can you take now, what skills can you develop and what practices can you implement so that you are stronger on the other side?
Two categories of self-care
Within this new isolating experience, it is helpful to consider two primary categories of self care. The first category is basic well-being. It is often neglected when the caregiving experience is new and intense. It includes a commitment to our own wellness visits, which most of us have appropriately put on hold. The second category includes the things that restore us. Within both categories, self-care will look different for each person and for each person from day to day, possibly minute to minute.
I may get comfort and clarity from a run in the morning and from sitting motionless in the afternoon. Cooking is my escape most days and then without warning I am desperate to escape the kitchen. Pre-COVID19, I had been able to find peace while attending a concert with friends alongside hundreds of other people and equally in a solitary place in nature. Similarly, it may be a scent that takes me to a faraway place rather than an actual vacation. Self care often comes in moments rather than hours.
Basic well-being
Our new reality is taking some getting used to, not unlike when we are suddenly dropped into an intense caregiving experience. Taking care of our basic well-being requirements can seem secondary. We are simply trying to manage the daily changes. Sustainability starts with meeting our basic well-being needs. Here are a few:
- Acceptance and Forgiveness – These skills are like muscles that need to be developed and require frequent training and practice to maintain strength and muscle memory.
- Talk it out – These are stressful times. Locate the virtual options that work for you. Look into online support groups, virtual community support groups, contact a minister or rabbi, connect with a therapist or counselor.
- Routine – Commit to a morning and evening ritual to ensure that you are not skipping important steps in your own self maintenance.
- For optimal energy
- Choose healthy foods; consider an app to track food and nutrients
- Drink lots of water
- Implement good sleep habits
Move from survive to thrive
Beyond the basics we can get more creative and move from survive to thrive. It may take some inner exploration to identify what sustains you, what rejuvenates and revives your spirit. What do you consider guilty pleasures? What if you removed the guilt? Visualize your passions. How can you reimagine them in your current setting? How can you work your restorative self care interests into your daily activities? Above all, practice being mindful when you are in the midst of the restorative experience so that you feel the comfort that your activity brings.
Restorative self-care
Here are a few ideas to spark your imagination and inspire you to achieve moments or more of serenity or adventure. Choose one or two and layer in more as you re-define and re-claim self care.
- Music – Create a “Reset my Mood” playlist or try the Calm app which has a vast selection of music for sleeping, relaxing and more.
- Meditation – The Calm app is my go-to when I need to step away from the intensity. In addition, it has sleep stories that work magic. For ninja level naps, choose a selection from the naps category.
- Breathe – There’s an app for that too. More simply, there are breathing exercises that bring about immediate relaxation in line at the grocery store or after awakening in the middle of the night. My favorite is to inhale slowly through the nose, hold my breath for 5 seconds and release breath through the mouth. Repeat 5 times.
- Move – Run, walk, bike, dance, skate your way to contentment. There are many online yoga and exercise classes available. Check out, Yoga for Caregivers.
- Scents – Find your peace in lotions and essential oils.
- Tea – I love discovering new flavors. Current favorites are Pukka’s Revitalise with cinnamon, cardamom, ginger and more, https://www.pukkaherbs.com and Yerba Mate from Revival Tea Company, https://www.revivalteacompany.com.
- Learning – Check out the many free online courses.
- Writing – It may be a diary, poetry or gratitude journal. If you enjoy writing, find a beautiful blank book to hold your unique thoughts.
- Nature – If nature is your happy place, make spending time outside a priority. Or, put up a bird feeder and watch the bird channel from the window.
- Pet therapy – Cuddle with your furry friend or any available.
- Treat yourself – Set aside time each day to enjoy a treat or reward yourself after a task that you dread.
- Read – Download that book that will offer an escape or allow you to learn about something new. Books offer an amazing opportunity to help us stay curious, get outside of ourselves or dig deeper, go on an adventure or take a class without leaving home.
- Friends – Schedule a lunch or coffee over Zoom or FaceTime. Focus on reconnecting and catching up.
- Laugh – Appreciate the humor in those things that you know you will laugh about later. Watch Seinfeld reruns, whatever makes you smile out loud.
- Oasis – Create a comfy corner within your home so that you have a place to restore and regroup. Imagine LED candles, a special scent, mood music, tea and pillows in your favorite colors.
How are you surviving and thriving during social distancing? Please share your strategies and suggestions.
This post has been modified from the original Thrive or Survive: Self Care and Caregiving.
Navigating the Caregiver River: A Journey to Sustainable Caregiving is available on Amazon. Also, check out the Self-Caregiving Strategies Podcast.
Schedule Theresa Wilbanks to speak on caregiving and empower the caregivers in your workplace or community with the 12 Sustainable Caregiving Strategies.
Advice offered is for general information only; please contact your healthcare team, legal or financial advisors to guide your particular situation.